Apologies: Life in the last 6 months

Im sorry people, Ive been such a rubbish blogger, lifes been so busy these past 6 months or so, a lots happened Ive changed a lot, and learnt quite a lot. For one Ive figured out who my real friends are, Holly, Sam, Becky, Sophie, Phoebe, Tom, Josh, Dale, but then again theres those who Im not so sure about.. Bryn, Nathan, even though Ive been friends with Nathan since December 08 and up until about a week ago we've been unseperable since, we went everywhere together and did everything together. Everyone thoguth we went out because of how close we were, all his girlfriends hated me, they were jelouse nathan said, which tbf they has a right to be, but I wasnt complaining/ He always used to hold my hand and hug me and have his arm round my waist, we told each other everything, just being with him brightened my day. I loved him, yknow? But I couldnt tell him that, we were bestfriends, it would ruin everything, hes such an amazing person, and it was an honour to be called his best friend :) in all the years Ive had different bestfriends, he was deffinately the best, I would never of thought in a million years Id be best friends with someone like him. But then things stated to go downhill again, his other close friend Bryn, has always loved me, me and Bryn have been friends for just over a year and hes loved me all through that, everyone knows, but I didnt feel the same way and he knew that, Nathan started acting weird and getting stroppy when I hang out with Bryn, in the end i had to confront him. It was then that I got it out of him, he was jelous, my best friend was in love with me.. Nathan was in love with me.. I was shocked, even though we both know nothing can happen betwen us ever, because hes a Jehovas Witness you see, and I am a Christian, forbidden love you could call it. I stupidly told him I was in love with him too, and at first we were all happy and saying "I love you" and such romantic things all the time, but then he started to change, block me out almost, when i asked whats wrong he wouldnt reply but then come back later spologising to me when I was upset, I believed him. Then he started to say he was confused, he still LOved Emily his ex, and Flo his other ex still loved him but he still had strong feelign for me.. thats just about where I am now, confused, bestfriendless :) ahh well I still have my Holly and Bryn as my bestfriends I guess :) but its not the same, it wont ever be the same.